


A New Clause on the Agreement

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, M/M, cameo by Carmen, fwb to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 13:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18757186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: They've been fuckbuddies for eight months, but Rafael's starting to feel feelings. Oh no. What do.





	A New Clause on the Agreement

**Rafael:** We need to talk.

**Sonny:** I think you're legally disallowed from using that sentence when you're not dating someone.

**Rafael:** You want to argue legality, you have to actually be a working lawyer first.

*

Rafael stares at the message for a moment and wonders if it's too mean. He grimaces at that thought. He shouldn't be having it. His friend Sonny would find it funny, and he shouldn't be thinking about if his boyfriend Sonny would be offended. Because Sonny's not his boyfriend. They just fuck sometimes. They'd agreed to terms, and the terms clearly stated that romantic feelings weren't part of the conversation.

*

"Fuck it, I'm just gonna say this," Sonny had said one night when he and Rafael were grabbing a cheap dinner while waiting for a warrant. "I'm glad we're friends, but I also really want your dick in my mouth."

Rafael had been grateful they were walking back from grabbing takeout and not in the middle of eating it. It meant the strangled sound he made didn't cause food to fall out of his mouth and possibly ruin his shirt and tie. "I'm sorry, what?" he managed to get out while also still walking, and really, he should have gotten a medal for that.

"Sorry," Sonny had said, though he was clearly _not_ sorry for what he'd said. "The phrasing was a little crass, but I know you know what I get like when I'm this tired, so I figured I'd just put it out there."

Rafael couldn't technically disagree with Sonny's assessment. He _did_ know what Sonny got like when he'd worked thirty of the last thirty-six hours and was getting by on cat naps and caffeine. His usual filter of "polite boy from a big family" deteriorated rapidly into a bluntness that Rafael usually laughed at and enjoyed. But Sonny's bluntness had never been turned towards him about _sex_.

"Well, it's definitely out there," Rafael had said.

"I'm not asking to date you," Sonny had added. "I mean, I'll try it if you wanna try it, but I'm happy getting the chance to suck your dick and whatever."

"And whatever," Rafael had echoed.

Sonny had grinned at him, that wide and easy smile that made his dimples impossible to ignore. "You know, you haven't said no."

"I haven't," Rafael agreed because, well, it was true. "But tonight is not the night to make a list of pros and cons."

"Fair," Sonny had replied. "Just text me whenever if you want."

"I will," Rafael had said, and he'd followed up with a text two days later. They'd set the rules quickly. They were friends who fucked. They built a list of activities they both enjoyed. They were both fine with cutting off the easy lay if the other found someone who was more compatible romantically.

*

It's unfair, Rafael thinks, that they made the rule about romantic compatibility and didn't include a clause in case they realized their best option was with each other. Because eight months into fucking as friends, Rafael is very aware of how often his feeling skew towards romance and _wanting_ that romance, and it's not fair to Sonny to not tell him. 

Which is why they have to talk.

Rafael stares at his snarky reply for another five seconds and finally taps to send. 

Sonny replies in less than a minute. It's a gif of Chris Evans laughing while clutching his left boob. Rafael can't stop his smile. Sonny's the one who had pointed out how Chris Evans laughed and always grabbed his own chest, and Rafael knows Sonny's use of the gif is a clear indication he actually finds Rafael funny.

Thank goodness. Maybe telling him he needs to call things off because he wants to date won't end a friendship that means more to Rafael than he's ever put into words.

*

"I brought food," Sonny says when he shows up to Rafael's the next night. He's got a takeout bag in one hand and two bottles of wine in the other. "Russian. I got you the pressed hen. Or the rabbit. Whatever sounds better. I'll eat either."

"Thanks," Rafael says as he takes the wine from Sonny and carries both bottles to his tiny kitchen. Sonny closes the door behind himself and sets the takeout bag on the coffee table. Rafael watches him slip out of his jacket and kick off his shoes. He's wearing jeans and a light gray T-shirt. His hair is falling out of its usual style, a few strands brushing his forehead and starting to curl around his ears. He meets Rafael's gaze and gives him a questioning look.

"Which do I open first?" Rafael asks, holding up the bottles. It's a weak excuse for why he was watching Sonny, but he'll take the cover.

Sonny shrugs. "The left one?" he says. "I brought the wine from home, and only stopped for food when I realized the Russian place had re-opened."

"Last week," Rafael replies, pulling a corkscrew out of a drawer. He hands it to Sonny and steps to one side to get the glasses. They've gone to the Russian place a few times. Sometimes before fucking and sometimes just because it had sounded good. 

Sonny pops the cork on the wine and pours them each a glass. He holds up his glass and flashes Rafael a grin. Rafael sighs with faux-annoyance and clinks their glasses together. "To…" Sonny waves his free hand. "Whatever we're talking about tonight? I guess."

"Sure," Rafael agrees, glad to hear his voice is even. He leads Sonny to the couch, and they both sit. "I'll have the hen," Rafael says as Sonny reaches into the takeout bag. He likes the rabbit, but he knows Sonny loves the rabbit, so it's an easy choice. 

"Do you want to talk before or after we eat?" Sonny asks as he opens the first box and passes it to Rafael. 

Rafael looks down at his meal. He wants to enjoy it, but he also wants the hard part of the conversation over with. "It's a pretty short talk," he says. He puts his container on the coffee table and takes a deep breath. "I just think it's time to call off our arrangement."

Sonny pauses, his takeout container held in both hands. "The sex, you mean," he says and doesn't look at Rafael.

"Yeah."

Sonny nods slowly, still not looking at Rafael. He puts his food on the coffee table. "I mean, if you want to, that's cool." He licks his lips and looks at Rafael. There's a distance in his eyes, like he's forcing himself to look placid. "We agreed we'd stop if we found a better offer."

"Right," Rafael says quietly, and he waits for something to show in Sonny's eyes. Disappointment or sadness, maybe? Understanding? But Sonny's eyes stay blank. His whole face does. "We're still friends, obviously," he says when Sonny doesn't say anything else.

"Of course!" Sonny says, and he smiles. It's reassuring, and his eyes light up with kindness. 

Rafael watches the way he adjusts his shoulders and feels a flash of surprise as he recognizes the motion. Sonny does the same thing before he has to go into interrogation and play-act as whatever sort of dirtbag a suspect is to get information. A thread of doubt starts to unspool in his mind. "You're okay with this, right?" Rafael asks.

"Yeah," Sonny says. "I mean, I'll admit I'm gonna miss having sex with you. We're pretty damn good at it when we team up."

Understatement, Rafael thinks, but doesn't say. 

"But if you've got someone you want to try to go the distance with, I'm not gonna fight you on it. We agreed to terms. And, please know I absolutely won't bring up the fact I've seen you naked to whoever it is."

The thread of doubt unspools faster. Sonny's saying all the right things, and if Rafael didn't know him, he'd swear the tone and the encouragement on Sonny's face were genuine. But he _does_ know Sonny. And he can't help but notice that Sonny keeps mentioning how Rafael must have met someone. 

They'd agreed to terms, Rafael thinks, and he remembers Sonny's very first set. _I'm not asking to date you. I mean, I'll try it if you wanna try it…_

"I haven't met anyone," Rafael says quietly. He keeps eye contact and reminds himself to breathe as his chest feels tight with expectation. "I'm not asking to end it because there's someone else."

Sonny stares at Rafael. He turns so his whole body is facing Rafael. "Really?" he says.

"Yes," Rafael replies.

Sonny swallows hard. "Okay." He flattens his palms against his legs. He looks scared, but there's a bright spark in his eyes. Rafael knows that spark well. He's seen that hope come up even in the worst of circumstances. It's one of his favorite things about Sonny, the way he can pull it up and keep it close.

"When you first proposed our arrangement, you said you'd be willing to date if I wanted to try but that it wasn't required."

Sonny laughs. It's loose and a little hysterical. The smile he gives Rafael is one of the brightest Rafael's ever seen. "I remember," he says. 

Rafael knows they're on the same page now, that Sonny knows that he has feelings he wants to explore. They could stop talking and be absolutely in sync, but Rafael wants to see just how much brighter that smile can get. "I want to date," Rafael says. "If you're still up for it."

"If I'm--" Sonny cuts off with another laugh and slides across the couch. He tips Rafael's chin up and kisses him. They've kissed plenty in the last eight months, but Rafael swears this one tastes different. "If I'm up for it," Sonny murmurs against his mouth. 

"I wouldn't want to put you out," Rafael can't help but say, and this time when Sonny laughs, Rafael ducks his head to press a kiss to his neck. 

"You could never," Sonny says, tilting his head so Rafael has more room to tease along his neck. "Yes, please, let's date. I will try to hold off on any declarations for at least a week."

It's Rafael's turn to laugh. He does it while pressing against Sonny's chest until Sonny is prone on the couch. "A whole week? You tease."

"Oh, I think we both know how much of a lie that is."

Rafael slides his hand under Sonny's shirt, the warmth of his skin feeling as different as his kiss from a moment ago. "Which part?" He says. "You not being a tease or you waiting a week?"

Sonny's smile brightens so much, Rafael thinks he might go blind. "Guess you'll find out in the next week, huh?"

"Guess so."

*

The next morning, when Rafael walks into the office, there are a dozen roses on Carmen's desk. "Very nice," he says, touching one petal lightly. 

"Glad you like them," Carmen replies. "They're for you."

Rafael gives her a look. "What?"

She grins. "I'll pretend I don't recognize the handwriting on the card."

"You read the card?"

"I read your name on the envelope," she replies. "I've seen a lot of his writing, you know."

"I know," Rafael says. "You mind carrying my briefcase?" he asks. "I'll get the flowers."

Carmen takes his briefcase and leads the way to his office, unlocking it with her copy of the key. She puts his briefcase on his desk and gives Rafael a cheeky smile as he puts the vase on the conference table. "I'm happy for you," she says. 

Rafael rolls his eyes to make her laugh. "Thank you," he says, making it sound as aggrieved as possible. He listens to Carmen laugh as she shuts the door, and he pulls the card from its holder. 

_I really was going to wait, but I heard what you said when you thought I was asleep last night. I love you, too._

Rafael shakes his head and pulls out his phone. Sonny picks up on the third ring. "How the hell did you get roses to my office before I got here?" he asks in greeting.

Sonny laughs. "Oh, Rafael, you've got a lot to learn."

"Looking forward to it," Rafael replies, and he knows his own smile is blinding as he ends the call and takes a moment to appreciate his boyfriend.


End file.
